Below are extracts from
letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and
later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about
her life experience in the Ashram.
I am prostrating myself before the chief who is Herself and things are becoming clearer and more harmonious. My life seems to be becoming slowly concentrated only on Her. I have endless conversations with my God and I begin to discover that He (or She), being the Immensity, is at the same time something very, very simple. I can quarrel with Her, or put my head on Her lap and cry, or I can smile and laugh. She will accept everything. Oh! at last I can be completely natural, completely, completely, as I am now with all my imperfections. She knows each corner of my being and She loves me as I am. I feel Her more and more clearly in my inner being, close to me. She embraces me and we both as witnesses watch all that is being done by Her as God the Worker - in me and everywhere. This does not mean that all is easy. Oh! I feel so exhausted often and have strange headaches, but now all has become different. I have really given my adhara to Her. I no longer have a headache - She has it. Let Her do with it what She likes and with my fatigue too. My eyes are also inflamed again, but I do not worry. Let Her worry!
Our patient is much better. It has been a real yoga crisis. There is so much
jealousy streaming on me - but that is also Mother's business, not mine.
The heat had been awful for a week and then, suddenly, overnight, the change came. There are lovely showers and it is much cooler. Evenings, nights and
mornings are almost European! I have received both your letters and I shall give the
letter to Pavitra this evening. It is good that you have written to him. It does
not matter at all what you write to me, just write. Everything will come in its
due time. Oh! I have such confidence now in Her. Each tiniest thing She is just
doing in the way and time when it is necessary.
(Ref: A Captive of Her Love, P: 56-57)